Discovering yourself (in a non-sexual way)

Do you remember when you were little and you had grand dreams (now delusions of granduer) about what you wanted to be when you grew up? I remember wanting to be a teacher, then a journalist, then I got into sci-fi and then I wanted to be an astronaut and when I had finally decided I really didnt know what I wanted to be I settled on Queen of the universe, a job position not currently filled (there is after all only a MISS universe contest) and possibly one I would never dream to fill.

I also remember in high school being told to pick a study stream based on what occupation I intended on getting into after school and not really being able to pick something other than what I was expected to pick (thank you parentals for high expectations and damn me for wanting to please people too much.) I chose my course of study and I followed it right through uni and out the other side and not really into something I imagined doing. Then again I had never had any concrete visions of what I wanted to be doing.

Currently I am having one of those occupational (in a literal sense) dilemmas where I know I am destined for something big or at least something that I excel at and makes me genuinely happy to go to work, but it eludes me. I don’t have any illusions that everyone is happy at work all the time even a ice-cream taste tester (which would be a great job), I am pretty sure ice-cream headaches and an expanding waistline make that job a hard one to handle at times.

It also makes it a little hard deciding what you really want to do when you are not sure how it will turn out until you try it. Imagine training for years to be a ballet dancer and becoming so great that you got to perform for hundreds of people instead of small groups and then suddenly you developed stage fright? And all of you out there saying “surely you would know before because any sort of performing makes you nervous?” its an example and the best I could think of when I havent had any lunch.

Then it begs the question are we also supposed to do get the jobs we want? I really don’t think anyone imagines being the person who changes the sanitary bins in the ladies toilets but someone has to do it right?